LK Group

Giving and Getting What You Need in Love

Mark J — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:40:16 +0000

If you’ve been together with someone for any length of time, you probably know that each of you has preferences regarding how you like to relate to each other. A bestselling book that’s been around for years called The 5 Love Languages goes into great detail about these “patterns of expressing and interpreting love.”

The five categories that author Gary Chapman has “boiled” this concept down to are: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Now if you look at the categories, you might notice that they break down into giving and receiving physical affection or ‘things’ and giving and receiving emotions (or intangible things). That about covers everything anyone would want or need in a relationship.

Regardless of the names of the styles of how you and your partner give and receive affection, the important thing is that because of a variety of factors (families of origin, cultural influences, past relationships, etc.), we all have preferred ways of being shown and showing love to our partner, and those ways can fluctuate and change.

I’d like to submit that more important than broad labels for behaviors, is the knowledge on a small, day-to-day basis of what our partner needs, and our willingness to both give it, and perhaps more importantly, to ASK for it.

I believe that we all speak many “love languages.” Our preferences change from day to day, and moment to moment, and they’re not mutually exclusive so that they fit into only one category. (“What do you mean you want an Act of Service today? You said you were a Quality Time person!”) More important than labeling our desires is the ability to share the specific needs with our partner, and for our partner to be willing to give them to us (even if it requires Compromise!).

The bottom line is, if you like having your feet rubbed after a long day of work sometimes, ASK your partner for a foot rub! If you like to hear little nothings whispered in your ear from time to time, let your partner know! (You can call them “physical touch” and “acts of service” if you like.) What’s important is that you have open, honest communication with your partner about WHATEVER you want, WHENEVER you want it, and that your partner is open to giving it to you.

If you do this, you won’t need to know what the names are of the kinds of tangible and intangible things each of you prefers, and whether you’re both speaking each other’s “language”; you’ll both be speaking English and asking for and receiving what you need.

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Did you find this information useful? Use the Comments section and let me know! And if you think couples counseling or family therapy could help you reach your goals, please don’t hesitate to contact me at mark@laurakohngroup.com or 954-617-3100.

Salvador Espinosa LMT

lkohn — Sun, 25 Sep 2011 14:20:47 +0000

Salvador Espinosa is a Licensed Massage Therapist and has been in the field of holistic healing for fifteen years. He combines intuition with technique. Salvador offers you customized therapy that addresses your specific healing issues. From a deep muscular or medical massage session to a supportive gentle healing touch, you are in the caring hands of a professional. Experience release of physical and emotional blocks that cause tension, stress and pain in your body. You are invited to explore a profound level of healing while feeling nurtured throughout this unique journey.

Salvador’s system of structural realighnment and vital energetic rejuvenation brings you immediate stress relief. It also provides you the opportunity to enjoy a deep rest that shifts you into higher body awareness. Transform tension and stress into productive energy. Feel refreshed as renewed energy streams into your body, resetting your system and providing optimal balance for your body and mind. Call

Do You Have a Couple Bubble?

lkohn — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:52:21 +0000

By Mark Jacobson Reg. MFT Int.

What’s a Couple Bubble? Well, it’s a phrase I just submitted to Urban Dictionary. And I’m telling them it’s an imaginary boundary that you create around your relationship, to strengthen it by keeping away outside intrusions—by people, responsibilities, work, bills, and so on—at least from time to time.

With all the intrusions of modern day life, it’s no wonder that couples have no time for themselves. Work, children, in-laws, church/synagogue, volunteering, cooking, cleaning, shopping, hobbies—the list goes on and on. It’s especially important for couples to create and maintain their Couple Bubble, and (like Jack Burns’ “Circle of Trust”) keep everyone and everything outside it, at least every once in a while.

Many of us have heard the word ‘boundary’ before (“She has no boundaries.” “You need to set a boundary.”); the idea has been around for a long time (one of the founders of family therapy, Salvador Minuchin, created an entire model of therapy with boundaries as one of its basic premises, back in the early 1970s). By creating a Couple Bubble, and residing safely inside it from time to time, you’re drawing a boundary around your relationship and making sure that despite all your responsibilities and other commitments, you’re taking care of your relationship and your commitment to each other.

While creating and maintaining your Couple Bubble is important all the time, it’s especially critical at certain life transition points, such as when couples get married, and when they have children. When you’re first married, negotiating how and when your in-laws visit could be one way of maintaining your Couple Bubble. And planning ‘date nights’ with your partner so that you can go out without your baby is another (Your baby is always inside your Family Bubble, but he or she should never be inside your Couple Bubble—get the idea?).

The bottom line is, if you want to have a solid relationship where both you and your partner really feel like you’re on the same team, creating and maintaining your Couple Bubble, and reserving special time alone inside it on a regular basis, is one way to make it happen.

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I hope you’ve found this information useful. If you think marital and family therapy could help you reach your goals, please don’t hesitate to contact me at mark@laurakohngroup.com or 954-617-3100.
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Mark Jacobson, Reg. MFT, Int.

admin — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 12:32:39 +0000

As a Marriage and Family Therapist Intern, I specialize in therapy with couples, families and children. I can help them improve their relationships so they can argue less, communicate better, be less angry, be better parents—or just be happier! I also help individuals and couples who are struggling with addiction, grief, depression, anxiety and other life challenges.

I practice what’s called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, which research suggests has the potential to create lasting, positive change in just a few sessions by identifying strengths and resources you may not have been aware that you had, and leveraging them into practical, everyday solutions you can use right away.

The type of therapy I practice is brief compared to others, because we focus on the present and the future, and utilize the past. So you can start seeing a change in just a few sessions, instead of spending years on a couch analyzing your dreams!

What makes me different from other therapists? I use the therapeutic tools and techniques I’ve been trained in—and incorporate my own empathy, warmth, curiosity and sense of humor into the process—to help people create a vision of their future without the problem, and take steps to make it a reality.
My background as an advertising creative director also gives me an edge when it comes to out-of-the-box problem-solving. I’ve been married for 17 years and have two teenage daughters, giving me valuable experience “in the trenches.”

Ready to make a change? Click here to email Mark or call (954) 617-3100 to set up an appointment.

Courtney Cavall LMHC

admin — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 12:32:02 +0000

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, clinically trained in rational emotive therapy. I specialize in Individual and Group Therapy with focus on treating depression, anxiety, coping skills for substance abuse, and life transitions.

My personal therapeutic style is goal oriented with a mixture of cognitive therapy and functional “therapeutic tools” that can be applied in daily life experiences. I place great importance on creating a warm therapeutic environment focused on individual emotional needs. My approach is honest, direct, and down to earth using language people can understand. My role as therapist is to assist you with finding realistic and effective solutions that work for you and build self-awareness. In treatment I focus with clients on; identifying mental thought patterns and core beliefs, breaking harmful perpetuating behavior patterns and creating new healthy habits, cognitive problem solving techniques, healthy boundaries, assertive communication, and learning techniques for visualization and emotional processing.

Click here to email Courtney

Laura Kohn LMHC, CHt

admin — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 12:31:09 +0000

I am a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Board Certified Hypnotherapist. I have worked in inpatient and outpatient settings for one of the country’s premier trauma programs before starting my individual practice. While I treat a wide spectrum of problems, I specialize in treating trauma, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, anxiety, and the dissociative disorders and have extensive experience in treating Dissociative Identity Disorder.

I work to change dysfunctional behaviors, patterned negative emotional reactions, and disparaging beliefs where they occur – at the subconscious level. Hey, if you could have changed things consciously wouldn’t you have done so already?

Deep level work allows you to complete therapy quickly in an emotionally painless way by dismantling the negative belief systems that fuel the damaging feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. You’ll work at the level where the problem is actually occurring saving you time and money and most people notice a difference after just one session. Change happens automatically without having to practice or repeat behaviors until they become habits.

Click here to email Laura